Monday, January 30, 2012

Built Like A Brick . . . . . .

Just a few weeks back I made mention of an outhouse incident that took place many years ago when I was growing up in Maine (We’ve Got Legs).  Then, the following day I elaborated a little more about the construction of the said outhouse (Being In Love).  Well, that brings me to an article that I came across regarding the construction of an outhouse along a portion of the Appalachian trail that passes near Delaware Water Gap in Pennsylvania.

It seems that, back in the nineteen and nineties, the National Park Service had a “two holer” erected along the trail at a price tag of $333,000 (keep in mind this was back in the 90’s, it would be twice that amount today).  Now, I’m no expert on outhouse construction, but that seems just a tab bit over priced to me.  Granted, unlike Unk, they faithfully used a square, a level, and a tape measurer.  And I’m sure that they used the 16 inch on center construction technique as well.  Further, they used state of the art materials and building techniques such as a gable slate roof, cedar clapboards, cottage style porches, and a cobble stone foundation.  It was, also, build to “Gummint” standards to withstand an earthquake – just something that one would expect in modern outhouse construction (those standards were the latest rage all over Washington and the “Gummint” has plenty of experts on dealing with feces).

Now, can you just imagine, for a minute, the engineer’s resume who designed such an edifice?  “1996-97 – On site engineer for Federal construction of a two hole outhouse along the Appalachian Trail.”  That in itself would get him an interview at most engineering firms – if for nothing more than for sheer curiosity factor.

But, no matter how you slice it, I’d almost take a bet that if you rounded up the construction cost of every outhouse ever built in the State of Maine over the years, it wouldn’t come close to $333,000.  This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Built like a brick sh-- house”.  Is it any wonder that our “Gummint” is in debt.  They need to put Unk on the payroll, he’d save them a bundle.

As you can tell, it’s a slow news day at the Patterson household this morning.

Be Happy, Have Fun, and May God Bless  - - - - - - - - -


  1. Yeah - slow day for news ... But I always liked the editorial page best!

  2. build it and 'they will come' heck its still a two holer right?

  3. Oh yes every outhouse needs a gabled roof, cedar clapboards, cottage style porches, and a cobble stone foundation! And, especially in PA does an outhouse need to be earthquake safe! Amazing amazing.